Was Jesus a Kung Fu Hustler?

12 Apr

I may have missed the memo about Jesus being a kung fu hustler. This dude is the most entertaining thing I’ve yet to see emerge from God’s lunatic asylum. Take a look …

If the heavy metal soundtrack threw you off a bit, here’s another without the devil’s music, but with a whole lot of white-suit-jacket-waving and merry stage-diving to make the most hardened metalhead fear for his life.

I’m really not sure what the hell is going on here, other than people being pushed over, karate chopped into submission, taking elaborate dives that would make Ronaldo look like a pussy and being electrocuted on the floor. Benny Hinn may or may not be the most batshit moron on the planet. But I could care less. I have this. To laugh at until Jesus returns.

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5 Responses to “Was Jesus a Kung Fu Hustler?”

  1. Lady Bastardo April 13, 2010 at 2:19 pm #

    This is hilarious! Some of those moves looks like something out of Jedism!

    Miss ya JMaster!

    • dalai moron April 13, 2010 at 9:35 pm #

      Lady Bastardo, greetings you magnificent moron.

      You can’t teach that. Being a Jedi, yes. That you can learn from watching fifteen million hours of Star Wars in reverse trilogy. But what this dude does, that’s a special kind of voodoo martial arts.

      Namaste.

  2. Fr Pat O'Mally April 13, 2010 at 2:26 pm #

    Good afternoon brother lama. Your in depth coverage of (almost lost) brother Benni Hinn was very much enjoyed. Even the nuns had a wee (hehee, wee) bit o’ a laugh at the debacle. For your next observation, you should reflect on those who find themselves witness to “gold dust”. Not to be confused with golden showers now.

    I think a reflection on this will definately make the circle that’s been drawn around the subject bigger. Show them, show them brother lama, show them.

    Well, I’m off to cut the cheese for his greatness.

    Fr Pat O’Mally
    (remember, you can stay as you are for the rest of your life, or you can change to mainstay)

    • dalai moron April 13, 2010 at 9:29 pm #

      Father Patty, great to have you in my flock of morons. But please, easy on the communion wine. And the broccoli, oh for the love of Mary, leave that cruciferous plant in the garden will you. The other morons in your office will thank you for it.

      Say hi to the Pope for me. Crazy old bastard, but he rocks that hat.

  3. Bianca April 14, 2010 at 11:09 am #

    Preach it brother preach it!

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