The Day Boobs Shook The Earth

24 Apr

An Iranian cleric reckons that women who show too much boob in public are causing the earth to shake violently and collapse buildings and fucking kill people. Really. Women who allow men to see more of their love pillows than the Lord supposedly wants us to see, because we’ll hurt our eyes and touch our studios too much, are responsible for earthquakes. I knew it.

So now this woman has decided to call bullshit on the cleric’s ridiculous idea. I mean, everyone knows it’s the sheer weight of human stupidity on the planet that causes earthquakes. Not goddam tit flashing, no matter how mammoth they may be. Twenty-thousand Pamela Andersons can walk about bare tits to the sky all day and the Richter scale is unlikely to tremble.

Jennifer McCreight, may God bless her and her boobs forever, has called all women everywhere to wear something suitably immodest on Monday, 26 April 2010. “I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own,” says Jennifer McTits. This is going to be such an awesome day I can hardly type properly.

It’s Boobquake. An admirable attempt to move the earth by the power of boobs. Or just show religious dingbats everywhere that boobs do not bring about violent earth tremors. An eye-full may lead to fervent touching of studios. But if God gave people studios, why can’t they touch them? Just not other studios, unless invited.

Go for it, you wonderful lady bastard. Namaste. The Dalai Moron is one hundred million per cent behind you. I’ll be searching the interwebs all day Monday to find visual evidence of your scandalous behaviour. But I’ll be doing so from under my bed, just in case the idiot from Iran is right.

Update from under the bed: My house has not collapsed. Yet. But I’m led to believe that a whole lot of boobs / people showing some boob are annoying the fuck out of the universe / that dude in Iran / everyone who thinks too much cleavage cleaves the earth. And I’m very happy to see the internet rockstar has added her lady mounds to the scientific data being collected by Ms McCreight.

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5 Responses to “The Day Boobs Shook The Earth”

  1. headstraight April 24, 2010 at 2:45 pm #

    Amen

  2. Simon Ripley April 27, 2010 at 3:32 am #

    Good god, man, you’ve killed us all!

    Seriously, if my tits weren’t oddly proportioned, I’d be right up with her.

    • dalai moron May 8, 2010 at 12:31 pm #

      Sorry, this is a bit late … I’m still recovering from the earth tremors, which make typing replies ddiiifffiiccc [shit] difficult. But seriously, it takes all kinds of tits to make the world go round. Or quake. Do not be ashamed of what evolution / the garden fairy / mother mary gave you. If you’re a woman. If not, well I won’t judge you but I may chuckle quietly behind your back.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. It’s Boobquake All Over Again « The Dalai Moron - June 3, 2010

    […] Benni can eat as much as he likes while he watches the game from the safety of the stands. I mean Boobquake revisited, but worse this time. Check out the advert if you don’t believe me, you wretched […]

  2. 2010 in review « The Dalai Moron - January 6, 2011

    […] The Day Boobs Shook The Earth April 2010 4 comments 5 […]

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