You’ve heard about the local hero keeping the streets of Joburg safe for speeding motorists … you know, the dude who goes by the unforgettable username of @PigSpotter? This kind of real-life hide and seek game is why social media was invented.
@PigSpotter, with the help of plenty other motorists with cellphones, is ensuring that motorists slow down to the appropriate speed limit and avoid being pulled over and forced to bribe a willing officer of the law fined. Or just find another speedy route home.
So, if you’re a metro cop, you’ve definitely heard about the pig motherfucker. And you would love to get your hands on this pork chop who is fucking up all your fun. And fry his bacon. It’s okay, I would feel just as pissed off as you okes if some moron got the bright idea while taking a crap of using Twitter to alert motorists about cops hiding behind bushes with their cameras to trap all those maniac Joburg drivers who drive 150 in a 60 zone. In reverse.
Know what I’d do if I was the chief copper with his panties in a knot about @PigSpotter? I’d create a whole bunch of Twitter accounts just like Cliff’s (his real name is probably Frikkie). I’d use these Twitter accounts to alert motorists everywhere about my honourable police officers hiding behind fake bushes, in public toilets, in dustbins outside KFC, fucking everywhere you may expect a cop to hide. Motorists, bushwhackers, perverts, chicken munchers, practically everyone would be on high alert and driving about at a snail’s pace / jerking off at home / eating veggies. The world would become a better place overnight. And I, @FuckingAmazingCop, would silence this swine who has dared to embarrass me and all my honest fellow cops.
All you fascists out there who would like to control how social media is used, the joke’s on you.
Long live pigs (the ones that look like Babe).